Thursday, March 19, 2009

Weight Watchers Weigh-In: Week 9

I don't know how it happens, but weigh-in day always sneaks up on me. I know it's coming for a week, but somehow when it comes down to crunch time, I'm blindsided. And I have something very bad to admit... This week, I wasn't happy with my total weight loss (a measly .6 pounds), so I skipped my meeting. I know, I know... That's not a great thing to do at all, but I knew that going would just make me feel worse. Meetings are great when I have some sort of weight loss, but when I don't, it just makes me feel like a failure to hear how others had such a good week. So, I used a long day and week at work as my excuse not to go to a meeting so far away, so early in the morning, along with the fact that it's my least favorite time of the month, and instead opted to sit at home on the couch drowning my sorrows in Fruit2O and Midol until it was time to go to work... Which is actually fine, since as long as I'm working these 6 day, 50+ hour weeks, I have no time to myself at home, so this time is something I really need right now. The stress of maintaining this schedule is literally making me sick, and I'll take every moment to myself I can steal.

Really, I can't complain about my progress... Losing 20 pounds since January 9th is really good, and the difference is really noticeable. And 40 pounds total weight loss? I never thought I'd be able to do such a thing. Did I mention that when I went clothes shopping on St. Patty's Day, I actually tried on mediums? When the heck was the last time I did that? I think I was still in high school...

I feel like lately, though, my weight loss has kind of... Stalled. And I know it's 100% my fault. When I first started the diet, I was a strict tracker, a strict good-food only eater, strict figure-out-the-points-on-everything-that-goes-into-my-mouth person, weighed everything religiously... But now, I find myself sneaking in one or two "fun sized" candy bars that are hiding in my friend's desk, or having a sample of food that I know is bad for me but I trick myself into thinking that if I only have a little it's OK, or having a little more than a serving size, and I won't lie... I've been eating just to eat. Yes, the food is generally OK for me, but if you're eating because you're bored... It doesn't matter what it is. It's like your body knows you're eating just because, so it retains every last trace of what's bad and sticks it right on your thighs. And with two of my overall goals met, and no long-term goals to replace them that are as compelling, I find it hard to get the motivation to behave on my diet.

Every week, I know I should make goals for what I'd like to do or see happen, and this weeks goals are clear:

1. Go back to tracking religiously so I can be accountable for what I eat
2. Stop snacking on things I know are bad for me
3. Exercise more

True, I make pledge 3 every week, but this week, I'm serious. Not like last week where I said I was, but really wasn't.

I am just chalking this up to a bad week, all the way around. Next week I know will be better, at least in some aspects. I hope.

Edit at 9:20am ~ Karma has a great sense of humor and an obvious taste for irony. I skipped my meeting so I could have more time at home, but my husband called to say he forgot his passport and needed me to bring it in to work for him. If I'd gone to my meeting, I would have left home early and thus, I would have missed his call, I wouldn't have been able to bring in his passport and he'd have been SOL. However, because I skipped the meeting in order to stay home and be lazy, I didn't miss his call, which means I have no excuse to avoid bringing him his passport, and now I have to go in early anyway to bring him his stupid passport. Grrr...

Now, before I sound like an ungrateful wife who's unwilling to go out of the way for her husband, this has to be at least the 5th time in less than 3 months I've had to drive into work to bring him something he's forgotten... Cell phone, wallet, passport, or some combination of all three. It gets irritating to have to drive 45 minutes to his work, hand him something, then drive 20 minutes in the opposite direction to my work, and work a 9 or 10 hour day. So where I was going to leave at 10:30 to be at work for 11, now I have to leave at 9:45 so I can be at his work by 10:30, then leave right away so I can be at my work by 11. ARGH!!

I should have gone to my meeting!

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