Not Me Monday: Inventory Edition

Being the sucker that I am for forwards and quizzes, I just had to participate in "Not Me Monday." This week is the Inventory Edition, since my inventory weekend was full of "not me" moments. And I swear, all of the events below, I in no way took any enjoyment from them... ;)

First off, I did not intentionally show up only 10 minutes before the start of inventory in the hopes of avoiding the pre-inventory pep talk meeting, and I was not at all disappointed to see that they had waited for me before they started with the meeting. And when I showed up, I did not laugh when my boss blamed me for causing a friend to "choke on his chicken" because I didn't bring a drink from Dunkin' Donuts. I also did not think of the phrase that included the words "choke" and "chicken" in a sexual way, and use that as the basis for several jokes through the whole evening. During the meeting, I paid attention the whole time and did not goof off with my friend because I knew that the person I'd be with would know what to do already.

When I was on the forklift, I did not laugh when my driver told me that he required all of the people in his cage to have a "nice hiney." I also did not participate in a lewd conversation with my driver in an effort to take my mind off of how high up I was. I did not notice when my friend in the cage in the next aisle made crude noises, and I certainly did not laugh my butt off. I also did not freak out when my driver left me in the cage 40 feet above the ground so he could go talk to somebody. I didn't spend the time stuck up there obsessing about how my new pants were getting dirty, and I didn't text one of my coworkers that I was stressed that my jeans were getting dirty. He, obviously, did not think I was a freak for sending such text messages.

Most importantly, when I was given paperwork to verify unit counts, I didn't dread not having a calculator and finally showing the world that I can't even do very basic math in my head. I did not make numerous basic math errors that my 7 year old nephew could have done, and I certainly didn't blame my fear of heights as a distraction from being able to do said very basic math. And my boss? He certainly doesn't think I'm a little stupid for not being able to figure out 12 x 3 +11 in my head.

I also didn't make a big deal about how everybody, after inventory, had to be on Xbox so we could play a few rounds of "Left 4 Dead," then ended up going home and not logging on. Then the next day, when one of my friends asked me where I was and why I didn't log on after I didnt' make such a big deal about everybody else logging on, I didn't tell him the reason I didn't log on was because I was "getting some."

Nope. None of that ever happened.